What sexy young shredder just returned from Tahoe with the names of two different new boyfriends tattooed on her bod, one on each, ah, cheek? Way to go, girlfriend.

What "Bizarre Love Triangle" is steamin' on, involving a certain cute (male) ski bum, a certain cute (female) scrivener (look it up, it ain't dirty, you illiterates!) pining after a certain glamorous dude who's in hot pursuit of a certain global-class glam-babe, while bum longs for scrivener...Hey it's a "Bizarre Love Quadrangle," isn't it?

Ah, the Heartbreak of Hormones On the Hunt!

Bonus: Tommi Knocker's Patented New Year Hangover Cure. Take the juice of three grapefruit, freshly squeezed. Throw it out. Take one cup of freshly brewed cappucino. Throw it out, too. Wash down two Tylenol #3s with plain tapwater, go out and roll in the snow, and then sit in the hot tub for an hour. Repeat 'til Olatunji and his ensemble cease playing in the theater between your eyelids and your brain. Good luck!