The weather may be cold, cold, cold, but this Town is getting hot, hot, hotter by the milisecond. It's Grunnion Beach, Mating (or at least Lusting) Season; the human elk are bugling, the enchantresses are emanating their potent pheromones, the peafowl are spreading their tails, and so on and so forth... Tommi Knocker Knows (and I know you want to, too, you snoopy devils).... What four sometime-locals, two male two female, tumbled out of a Gondola in the Mountain Village late one recent weekend night with at least one zipper still down, a bra on the floor, shoes on the wrong feet and clothes in disarray? Naughty, naughty, naughty... and the Gondola crew at the midway station caught quite an eyefull through the frosted windows, believe you me! (Next time bring a camera to work, okay? One picture is worth a thousand words, when you're talking O-R-G-Y-- or so my dear old momma used to say.) What West End rancher/developer drove into a Cortez tire store and asked workers there if they could repair an, ah, anatomically-correct inflatable life- sized female dummy that appeared to have suffered a blowout from overuse? And don't tell me that it gets lonesome, out there on the range: my cowboy friends tell me that said dummy was voted "Most Popular" at a recent shivaree/karaoke/fete in a certain remote Utah/Colorado border town! What T'ride real estate tycoon is praying that Mrs. Tycoon doesn't find out what went on in the supply closet between him and his secretary after Mrs. Tycoon passed out from too many frozen schnapps at the office New Years Eve Party? Tough, since Ms. Secretary has put the screws to Mr. Tycoon and is about to, we hear, be named an Associate Partner in the Firm, else she blabs all to Mrs. Tycoon. Rock and a hard place... hey, shoulda kept your Dockers on, Big Guy... More to follow... It's Scandalous, that's what it is, and Tommi thinks They Ought To Pass A Law...making Scandal obligatory. Let's Heat Up The Winter!!