Well, Richard Starbuck's New Year's Eve Party, Ball Till The Year 2000, was THE place to be in T'ride, or just about anywhere, as predicted.

Everyone, but EVERYONE, was there, for the catered food that included elk calf veal in brandy, desert pupfish smoked over bristlecone pine charcoal, live lobsters jetted in from Maine, and a huge ice cream cake which burst open to reveal Actress/Model/Whatever Nona Lee Capelli of BAYWATCH and BEVERLY HILLS 90210, etc., fame ("fame" equals walk-ons and a line or two, darlings). Ms. Capelli was wearing a Santa hat, two strategically-placed Xmas tree ornaments and a soupcon of pelvic tinsel, and the crowd went wild as she gyrated to "Kung Fu Christmas" and other holiday classics.

Later, Ralph Dinosaur and the Volcanoes provided dance till ya drop music, with Keith Richards sitting in on gittar and surprise backup vocals by George Michael.

Jordan Thorne was there, of course with Kansas City moneyman and Starbuck bud Anthony Aldente-- the trio were tete-a-tete in a corner for a good hour talking what sounded like, what else, MONEY, Wampum. Valuta. Frogskins. More Big Deals, huh boys?

And Romantic Drama as well, as Starbuck put the moves on a certain lovely young scrivener from this rag, successfully too, but then dropped said Media Babe when Starbuck's ex - Shauna Meadows made a grand entrance in a cute little backless, frontless and sideless Versace number... Richie made tracks for his former wife looking like Haley's Comet in high gear, leaving the Girl Reporter dancing forlornly by herself!

Ain't life a bitch? Ain't Tommi Knocker a Bitch? Bet on it. And Happy New Year, Y'all!